Positve self image

I’m 5’10 and very skinny. Lots of people would say I’m lucky. Right now at this age of thirty five I would say they are right, but it hasn’t always been this way. For years I hid my body in baggy pants and wore flat shoes. I hid from the world because I felt so self conscious about myself.

Where did this all stem from?

For a long time, during my school years and part of my early adulthood I’d been teased about my body. I guess some people thought it was harmless but it did affect me a lot. Some of the names I can remember were, Daddy long legs, Bonny M, skinny bilinky (Whatever that means). I thought if I hid myself away no one would harass me, but I was wrong, it didn’t matter what I wore I always got a comment here and there.

Things have changed since; I must admit a lot of things have changed when I turned thirty. For some reason I stopped caring what other people thought and started caring what I thought. I have one life and this was it! It wasn’t a dress rehearsal, nor was it something I could rewind or fast forward. This was my life now and I had to own it.

So how did I do it?

I’m tall, so what! This is what makes the world a beautiful diverse place. I bought my first pair of heels five years ago. For the first few days I just sat and admired them. Then one day I got the courage to wear them to work. A few comments came here and there but there was one that I responded to. A woman I know said. ‘Why are you wearing heels when you’re so tall?’ and I said, ‘Since I’m so tall what difference does it make.’

I must admit when I looked at myself in the mirror I loved what I saw. Long legs in heels looked pretty dam good. What I saw was the only thing that mattered. The one thing I realised was that the first day I put on those heels I did feel self conscious, but I walked tall, the second day was the same and a few more days after that. But I kept at it because it was what I wanted. I bought more heels in different designs and colours. Then something amazing happened. I stopped feeling self conscious and people stopped commenting or I stopped noticing the people who commented. Once I accepted me other people around me accepted me. It was never about them it was about me. The energy you put out people can sense it and pick up on that energy. Most of my shoes are now heels and people hardly comment anymore. I was in M&S one day doing some shopping when a woman came up to me and said. ‘Gosh you’re so nice and tall!’ What was the key, ‘Confidence’ once you are confident people will sense that and they won’t mess with that.

After this experiment I took it a step further. I have skinny pins (Legs). I hadn’t worn a dress in years. But since the heel experiment I went out and got myself two knee high dresses and a skirt. I did the same thing as the heels. The first day in a dress was the hardest, but it was a little easier. I had got to the point of acceptance that my legs will always be this way unless I had surgery, which I don’t intend to. I honestly didn’t care what people thought about my pins. They were mine and I loved them. I got over how skinny they are and others will too or not, but it doesn’t bother me. This was a freeing experience of accepting myself as I am.

I wanted to share this with people who feel self conscious about their body image. It happens to everyone regardless of shape or size. People fell insecure about some part of themselves all because someone else made a comment that scared you for life. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Don’t let comments blind you from your own beauty.

Try this experiment.

Look at yourself in the mirror and focus on the parts you don’t like. Look at those parts and say. ‘You look great!’ At first you won’t be that convinced but the more you practice it the more confident you will feel about yourself. I’ve done this and it has worked for me. You will feel uncomfortable at first but if you keep focusing on that part you don’t like you will begin to see it. If you keep at it you will get over your flaws and will start living. You will also find that once you accept yourself for who you are, you will start to attract the right people into your life. The ones who don’t pick on your flaws but the ones who say you’re beautiful This has happened to me in so many ways. I’m now surrounded by people who think I’m beautiful.

Body image starts from the inside out. Once you embrace yourself 100%. Other people will too and the ones that don’t will simply disappear from your life.